Updated: 2 February 2026 • Reading time: ~8 minutes
School meetings can feel like a test you didn’t revise for — and the subject is your child’s wellbeing. If you’ve got a SENCO meeting coming up, this guide will help you feel calmer, clearer, and more in control.
You don’t need to be “the perfect parent”. You just need a plan, a few key phrases, and a way to make sure the meeting ends with actions — not vague promises.
What a SENCO meeting is (and what it should do)
A SENCO meeting should help you and the school:
- understand what your child needs
- agree what support will be put in place
- decide how progress will be measured
- set a review date
If those four things don’t happen, you can gently steer the meeting back on track.
Before the meeting: your 20-minute prep
Keep it simple. Do this the day before (or the morning of, if life is chaotic):
- Write 3 biggest concerns (e.g., anxiety, reading, sensory overwhelm).
- Write 3 impacts (attendance, meltdowns, falling behind, friendships).
- Write 3 things that help (routine, visuals, breaks, quiet space).
- Bring 1–2 examples (emails, diary notes, a short log).
That’s enough. You do not need a 50-page file to be taken seriously.
Helpful phrases to use (when you’re nervous)
If you freeze in meetings, you’re not alone. Here are phrases that keep things calm and clear:
- “I’d like us to agree a written plan we can review.”
- “What will this look like day-to-day?”
- “How will we measure whether it’s working?”
- “Who will be responsible for making sure this happens?”
- “Can we put that in writing so we’re all clear?”
Questions to ask the SENCO
- What support is currently in place, and how often?
- What does my child find hardest during the school day?
- What adjustments can we make immediately?
- What interventions will be tried, and for how long?
- How will staff communicate updates to me?
- When will we review this plan (set a date)?
What to ask the class teacher (if they attend)
- When does my child seem most settled?
- When do they struggle most (time of day, subject, transitions)?
- What strategies work best in class?
- How can we keep expectations realistic but supportive?
Make sure the meeting ends with a plan
At the end, summarise out loud:
“So we’ve agreed X, Y and Z, and we’ll review on (date). Could you email me the plan/notes so we’re all on the same page?”
This simple recap prevents misunderstanding and creates accountability.
Ask for a written SEN Support plan (or similar)
Many schools have a form or template. If not, you can still request something written that includes:
- your child’s needs (in plain language)
- adjustments and interventions
- who does what
- review date
If the plan includes targets, keep them realistic and wellbeing-aware. Progress is not just academic.
If you disagree with what’s said
You can disagree calmly. Try:
- “That doesn’t match what we’re seeing at home.”
- “I’m worried that approach may increase anxiety.”
- “Can we try a smaller step first and review?”
You’re allowed to question things. You’re not being rude — you’re being responsible.
After the meeting: the follow-up email
Send a short email the same day or next day:
- thank them for their time
- list the agreed actions
- confirm the review date
- ask for the written plan/notes if you haven’t received them
This becomes part of your paper trail. It’s not overkill — it’s good practice.
When to consider the next step (EHCP)
If your child needs significant support, or if school support isn’t enough despite a clear plan, you can consider requesting an EHCP assessment. You can do this as a parent. You don’t need permission.
A final reminder
Meetings are easier when you remember this: you and the school are meant to be on the same side. But if the system gets defensive, you can stay calm and still advocate firmly.
You don’t need to win an argument. You need a plan that helps your child.
Next read: A Parent’s Guide to Reasonable Adjustments at School
Quick FAQs
Can I record the meeting?
Schools have different policies. If you want a record, ask for written notes and confirm agreements by email afterwards.
What if I forget what I wanted to say?
Use your list. You can also email additional questions afterwards. Meetings aren’t your only chance to communicate.
What’s a good review timeframe?
Often 4–6 weeks is enough to see if adjustments are helping, but it depends on your child’s needs and the type of support.
